Dear DS diary,
I wish I had been able to come up with this during therapy on Thursday, so I'm going to try to talk it out here.
I have a major worry about things being done. I seem to have this sixth sense for knowing when particular tasks "should" be done at work or at home, and when those dates pass I start to panic that it will never get done.
And I also start to feel guilty because I feel like I didn't do enough to make these things happen. Or remind others that we need to get X taken of soon. I fear that there is a control freak running riot in me, just wanting to be absolutely sure that things are under control. I know I can't handle it when things are not under control.
There's no confidence in others, no confidence in me...no confidence in anybody. I can't stand it. But I really don't know how to change it when in the real life world experience has taught me that there are no allies, no enemies. And I'm not sure even Skype can help me with that.
I don't see the therapist for another month (not best) so I'm hoping somebody reads this and maybe has an idea about what to do...please?
I wish I had been able to come up with this during therapy on Thursday, so I'm going to try to talk it out here.
I have a major worry about things being done. I seem to have this sixth sense for knowing when particular tasks "should" be done at work or at home, and when those dates pass I start to panic that it will never get done.
And I also start to feel guilty because I feel like I didn't do enough to make these things happen. Or remind others that we need to get X taken of soon. I fear that there is a control freak running riot in me, just wanting to be absolutely sure that things are under control. I know I can't handle it when things are not under control.
There's no confidence in others, no confidence in me...no confidence in anybody. I can't stand it. But I really don't know how to change it when in the real life world experience has taught me that there are no allies, no enemies. And I'm not sure even Skype can help me with that.
I don't see the therapist for another month (not best) so I'm hoping somebody reads this and maybe has an idea about what to do...please?
Replies
Dear one,
I noticed that in previous journal entries others have responded and you have not replied to them. Perhaps for this reason it is difficult to get replies.
As you expect confidence in others, you yourself must be so as well.
I feel that you\'ve really reached that point of desperation in which you really do deserve strong supportive friends. And others are just not available as they are trying to find personal ways to cope with their own issues.
I am so pleased with you as it is smart of you to give it your best to write out your feelings. To answer:
We all as humans panic to some degree as we fall behind and don\'t make deadlines. And lucky you for that sixth sense, which is a godly gift, haha! I recommend that you find faith in you and then with others as the feelings come naturally. I consider Mark 9:23 and you may look for this and read for yourself. I hope that you are not offended by my suggestion as well. God bless you!
Ambi