Dear DS diary,
The contractor showed up Thursday afternoon, with his help, to finish the porch. They finished leveling it and then brought all the stuff they had taken off the porch back onto the porch, freeing up the garage again. This was a relief.
Otherwise very little has changed. Tomorrow is likely to be a nightmare because the pharmacy will be closed and that will leave me at home with both of my parents...and I always feel guilty when I'm somewhere else when I'm needed. It's a feeling that won't go away and will have to be addressed along with what feels like a thousand other things when I see my psychiatrist for the first time on November 12.
There is not much else to say today. Still sitting on red. Still too scared of others to really do anything with my resume right now. Don't know how long it's going to take to be able to push through that. It's just a mess right now.
The contractor showed up Thursday afternoon, with his help, to finish the porch. They finished leveling it and then brought all the stuff they had taken off the porch back onto the porch, freeing up the garage again. This was a relief.
Otherwise very little has changed. Tomorrow is likely to be a nightmare because the pharmacy will be closed and that will leave me at home with both of my parents...and I always feel guilty when I'm somewhere else when I'm needed. It's a feeling that won't go away and will have to be addressed along with what feels like a thousand other things when I see my psychiatrist for the first time on November 12.
There is not much else to say today. Still sitting on red. Still too scared of others to really do anything with my resume right now. Don't know how long it's going to take to be able to push through that. It's just a mess right now.
Replies
Thinking of you and wishing there was something I could say to help. Its hard to feel so much panic and to be frozen. I have been there so often. All I can say is that now that I am more honest and realistic it rarely happens. Reread the emails that I sent you and really think about what you need and what you want and don\'t let the crap overwhelm you.
Huge hugs. Will check in when I get back to the good ole USA