Dear DS diary,
Today was a very bad day.  I had anxieties galore, not the least of which is that I feel crushed that the center at Mass General could only set up an appointment six months ago.  That length of time is unacceptable at best and it's a complete disaster for me when I'm in the middle of a nobody-wants-me- because-I'm-so-afraid-of-people streak.  Plus I felt panicky about when we're going to get our porch back because the weather is supposed to be crap until at least Tuesday which does not bode well for the work that still needs to be done on it.
This all combined to give me a trifecta of horrible panic attacks today.  The first one was so bad I had to sleep it off.  The other two were crying fits.  They came one after the other after the other, and I was powerless to stop them for three hours.  It's further proof that my risperidone dose is just being overpowered by pent-up fears that will not go away.
I just have no answers for this, I just don't.  It makes me feel absolutely awful.  And I probably have to deal with the appointment problem for another couple of weeks that I cannot afford to wait for answers while my mother pursues an alternate route. :(