Dear DS diary,
Today I had to help my parents out with their Costco run. I personally hate that store with a passion; it's big and imposing and absolutely a place I don't want to shop, ever. But they had to get so much stuff that they needed two carts, and mine had to have weighed 200 pounds by the time we were done (most of that was a quartet of 40-lb. bird seed bags).
It also made me very angry...they have Christmas stuff out already. That's right, in September. Now, I concede that in the retailing business nothing is sacred anymore, but it still pisses me off that they have their stuff out this early for the holiday season.
I also managed to get in a dry run so I could find the testing center for my PCC exam in two weeks...which will likely be a waste of my time because I can see the sleepless night the night before coming like a freight train...and I basically am powerless to stop it. I'm actually hoping I fail it, for multiple reasons. One is that I am absolutely in no shape to go back to the big city; I still have episodes where I don't want to go out without body armor (courtesy of the trigger earlier in the week).
The other is that we finally heard back from the center at Mass General...only to find that the process has only really barely started. Now we have paperwork a-plenty to take care of (mother says she'll do most of that), and even then there's no guarantee that I can get in because the demand for help is so high. But I'm so afraid of people and so good at isolating...
...(sigh)...this just can't go on without some kind of help. It just can't. I need a hug. :(
Today I had to help my parents out with their Costco run. I personally hate that store with a passion; it's big and imposing and absolutely a place I don't want to shop, ever. But they had to get so much stuff that they needed two carts, and mine had to have weighed 200 pounds by the time we were done (most of that was a quartet of 40-lb. bird seed bags).
It also made me very angry...they have Christmas stuff out already. That's right, in September. Now, I concede that in the retailing business nothing is sacred anymore, but it still pisses me off that they have their stuff out this early for the holiday season.
I also managed to get in a dry run so I could find the testing center for my PCC exam in two weeks...which will likely be a waste of my time because I can see the sleepless night the night before coming like a freight train...and I basically am powerless to stop it. I'm actually hoping I fail it, for multiple reasons. One is that I am absolutely in no shape to go back to the big city; I still have episodes where I don't want to go out without body armor (courtesy of the trigger earlier in the week).
The other is that we finally heard back from the center at Mass General...only to find that the process has only really barely started. Now we have paperwork a-plenty to take care of (mother says she'll do most of that), and even then there's no guarantee that I can get in because the demand for help is so high. But I'm so afraid of people and so good at isolating...
...(sigh)...this just can't go on without some kind of help. It just can't. I need a hug. :(
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