Dear DS diary,
I visited my primary yesterday.  He got an earful, just as my mother had expected (she was not happy with him the last time, either).  The results were mixed, but I guess it was better than last time.
He's putting me on a new med -- a low dose risperidone -- which I have been told is intended for calming purposes.  I guess this is okay...except he messed up sending the script to the pharmacy, so the earliest I can get it is Monday.  This does not bode well for tomorrow night, when there will be a double birthday celebration at my house and nine people will be in here.  That's a bigger crowd than I can handle, so I've already conceded to mother that I will probably have to excuse myself several times.  It will most likely be a difficult day and an even harder night.
He also agreed to refer me to a specialist wing at Mass General that specializes in working with people who have autism and other issues such as cerebal palsy, which I have.  I can't really fight that because I am honestly out of ideas -- especially with my study guide flatlined out of fear of what will follow -- but I have my doubts as to just how useful that's going to be.  I know the odds that I'm going to lock up in front of somebody new are...high.  And there's that trust thing to factor in, too.
I think on the whole it addressed some problems, but not in the right way...so I'm glad one of my friends took time to let me talk about my fears regarding my Youtube channel and help find some outlets.  That will take time to kick in, of course, but better that than nothing at all.