Dear DS diary,
As I am typing this I am trying out listening to nature sounds on YouTube, courtesy of the suggestion of a couple of friends. If I sleep any better at all tonight, they might want to get ready for huggles...lots of them.
Today I caught a break of sorts. The birthdays of my mother and my sister are about a week and a half apart, so to simplify things a little, they're both being celebrated in one night, a week from Saturday. The original plan was to go out to a restaurant...and there are eight of us in all implicated in this thing.
I don't think I have to tell anybody how I felt about that. But I didn't have to say anything because my dad saw the logistical issues in doing this at a restaurant (no really feasible way to hand presents out) so instead we're having a quieter affair at my house.
I don't like the idea of eight people being around. But at least I will have the option to hide for a few minutes at a time when I need to, which is almost certainly going to happen with the way I'm feeling about people right now. If I said that even work shifts are difficult these days, would you people believe me?
It's not like I don't know my defenses are down...very down, because last night I recorded some random gameplay with Hypercam and tossed it up on YouTube. Why I did it, I really don't know. But there's almost never a night now when I end up hiding for a good hour or more, so maybe I was thinking people might want to see some of my plays. Idk. Still makes me feel pretty sick about it, though.
As I am typing this I am trying out listening to nature sounds on YouTube, courtesy of the suggestion of a couple of friends. If I sleep any better at all tonight, they might want to get ready for huggles...lots of them.
Today I caught a break of sorts. The birthdays of my mother and my sister are about a week and a half apart, so to simplify things a little, they're both being celebrated in one night, a week from Saturday. The original plan was to go out to a restaurant...and there are eight of us in all implicated in this thing.
I don't think I have to tell anybody how I felt about that. But I didn't have to say anything because my dad saw the logistical issues in doing this at a restaurant (no really feasible way to hand presents out) so instead we're having a quieter affair at my house.
I don't like the idea of eight people being around. But at least I will have the option to hide for a few minutes at a time when I need to, which is almost certainly going to happen with the way I'm feeling about people right now. If I said that even work shifts are difficult these days, would you people believe me?
It's not like I don't know my defenses are down...very down, because last night I recorded some random gameplay with Hypercam and tossed it up on YouTube. Why I did it, I really don't know. But there's almost never a night now when I end up hiding for a good hour or more, so maybe I was thinking people might want to see some of my plays. Idk. Still makes me feel pretty sick about it, though.
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