Dear DS diary,
Last night was a hard one. My parents took me out to dinner with one of my uncles. Normally this is difficult enough because I absolutely hate doing that. But on this night it was especially hard because in the wake of that horrible trigger story from earlier in the week, my defenses were especially down.
It's not that I didn't get help with said triggers, because I did. (Summerwind81 and Julie111, hugbook hugs are coming your way as soon as I can figure out what I want to say to you two.) It's just that doing a 180 emotionally...doesn't come quickly for me.
So perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised to basically eat myself sick last night. I knew I was getting signals that it was time to stop, but with my defenses the way that they felt last night....I just couldn't stop. I ended up cleaning my plate.
This morning I finally had a rather violent "it" episode to clear out in the bathroom. Now I have a couple of weeks to try to prop myself up some with the links I've been given. I hope they work.
Last night was a hard one. My parents took me out to dinner with one of my uncles. Normally this is difficult enough because I absolutely hate doing that. But on this night it was especially hard because in the wake of that horrible trigger story from earlier in the week, my defenses were especially down.
It's not that I didn't get help with said triggers, because I did. (Summerwind81 and Julie111, hugbook hugs are coming your way as soon as I can figure out what I want to say to you two.) It's just that doing a 180 emotionally...doesn't come quickly for me.
So perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised to basically eat myself sick last night. I knew I was getting signals that it was time to stop, but with my defenses the way that they felt last night....I just couldn't stop. I ended up cleaning my plate.
This morning I finally had a rather violent "it" episode to clear out in the bathroom. Now I have a couple of weeks to try to prop myself up some with the links I've been given. I hope they work.
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