I had a doctor's appointment of my own yesterday...the charitable way to say it is that it did not go particularly well. He put me back on Seroquel again, this time with a heavier dose (1-2 a night at 100mg) I guess, considering how I struggle working through stuff, this was what I should have expected.
It could, maybe, work out this time because I at least am starting to talk through stuff with a couple of people now.
But it didn't stop me from eating myself sick last night. Only being totally loopy stopped it. I don't particularly like being on meds and this is no different. I can only really hope that I remember to stay with working through these (cuckoo) underlying memories and people issues before this mask of a med decides it wants to send this whole thing crashing down again.
I'm still a long way from being able to interact with most. We were supposed to be doing group feedback on the major literature essay yesterday. Key word is supposed. I made no movement to go into a group, and nobody tried to take me in. The professor made no effort to enforce it. It appears she is letting the non-groupie types (one has already dropped the course but there are apparently two or three more like in the section still) go their own way for better or worse.
I don't know if I should be laughing or crying at that. I'd vote for the crying to be honest.
It could, maybe, work out this time because I at least am starting to talk through stuff with a couple of people now.
But it didn't stop me from eating myself sick last night. Only being totally loopy stopped it. I don't particularly like being on meds and this is no different. I can only really hope that I remember to stay with working through these (cuckoo) underlying memories and people issues before this mask of a med decides it wants to send this whole thing crashing down again.
I'm still a long way from being able to interact with most. We were supposed to be doing group feedback on the major literature essay yesterday. Key word is supposed. I made no movement to go into a group, and nobody tried to take me in. The professor made no effort to enforce it. It appears she is letting the non-groupie types (one has already dropped the course but there are apparently two or three more like in the section still) go their own way for better or worse.
I don't know if I should be laughing or crying at that. I'd vote for the crying to be honest.
Replies
Hey friend :) sorry about the eating thing, I\'ve heard people say the same thing about Seroquel. But the thing with your class...I would actually think that\'s a really cool thing...that the professor is chill enough to let people do their own thing, you know? I mean, wouldn\'t it be much worse if she FORCED you to join a group? I don\'t know, just my thoughts, as always lol...wishing u peace :)
I can understand why the doctor thought it best to put you back on Seroquel given how you have been feeling lately...I completely understand not wanting to be on medication but it just sounds like right now it might be for the best for you...I just hope that it doesn\'t keep you from making strides in working through your issues by talking to people though. Sometimes talking things out works better than any med does. But sometimes you need the med too. Give it a chance to see if it helps you; if it doesn\'t, then you just go back to the doctor and talk about other options.
I\'m with Summerwind81 on the class issue though; you\'re not comfortable working in groups anyway; it\'s refreshing that your professor recognizes that some people do not work well in that forced setup and are better off fending for themselves. Some people do not work well in groups so why insist they work that way? It certainly helps you to not be pushed to work in one; and this way you do not have to consider dropping the class. I\'d think that is a relief actually.
Hang in there, David...
Hugs,
Tess
Tess, the reason why I have a problem with this is that it has before. Very badly.
In fact, if I can remember to do it tonight, I\'m especially concerned about feelings that have recently been dug up, and they are not very pretty.