This has been one rough week.
First, the radio in the pharmacy I work has been starting to play holiday music. This is bearable because the regular playlist is still favored by something like 3-to-1 on the station that we prefer. But we're hearing radio spots for the How the Grinch Stole Christmas musical that's in Boston for one more week, and it has driven me a bit batty because in the background of those ads is "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"...Thurl Ravenscroft's masterpiece from the animated special that gets stuck in my head for the balance of the season once I start to hear it once.
I am actually starting to hate it because it has gotten its usual place upstairs, and it wasn't even December yet. So twice this week I have popped the off button on the radio in disgust and guarded it for the minute that the ad is on, blurting, "Grinches! Bah!" because it really has gotten to me in a bad way. The staff on my side has doubled over with laughter, having no idea that it could bug one person that much...but it has.
Here's what's really rough, though: Today my brother took to the campus of Boston University to essentially cash the birthday gift he got for me, tickets to see BU play St. John's in women's college basketball play. We happened to be right next to the pep band when we were there and my ears are still ringing. The real stinger, though, was that I really didn't want to be there. It seems nothing is making me happy these days and this was no exception...even with lunch tossed in to sweeten the deal. I've gotten so good at faking emotions that doing it again was just like riding a bike even though I know that has to stop. I really don't enjoy feeling like crap but I've been bitten in the rear by my people issues so bad this semester that I can't help but conclude that even if my grades somehow do all clear, I will have effectively gained nothing,
(For those who want to know: St. John's had a tough afternoon on the hardwood. Plagued by mistakes everywhere that led to an 18-point first half for the entire team, the Red Storm were no match for BU. The Terriers patiently blew the game open in the first half and coasted home for an easy 64-47 victory. BU led 34-18 at the break.)
First, the radio in the pharmacy I work has been starting to play holiday music. This is bearable because the regular playlist is still favored by something like 3-to-1 on the station that we prefer. But we're hearing radio spots for the How the Grinch Stole Christmas musical that's in Boston for one more week, and it has driven me a bit batty because in the background of those ads is "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"...Thurl Ravenscroft's masterpiece from the animated special that gets stuck in my head for the balance of the season once I start to hear it once.
I am actually starting to hate it because it has gotten its usual place upstairs, and it wasn't even December yet. So twice this week I have popped the off button on the radio in disgust and guarded it for the minute that the ad is on, blurting, "Grinches! Bah!" because it really has gotten to me in a bad way. The staff on my side has doubled over with laughter, having no idea that it could bug one person that much...but it has.
Here's what's really rough, though: Today my brother took to the campus of Boston University to essentially cash the birthday gift he got for me, tickets to see BU play St. John's in women's college basketball play. We happened to be right next to the pep band when we were there and my ears are still ringing. The real stinger, though, was that I really didn't want to be there. It seems nothing is making me happy these days and this was no exception...even with lunch tossed in to sweeten the deal. I've gotten so good at faking emotions that doing it again was just like riding a bike even though I know that has to stop. I really don't enjoy feeling like crap but I've been bitten in the rear by my people issues so bad this semester that I can't help but conclude that even if my grades somehow do all clear, I will have effectively gained nothing,
(For those who want to know: St. John's had a tough afternoon on the hardwood. Plagued by mistakes everywhere that led to an 18-point first half for the entire team, the Red Storm were no match for BU. The Terriers patiently blew the game open in the first half and coasted home for an easy 64-47 victory. BU led 34-18 at the break.)
Replies
Well I know how annoying it can be to get things stuck in your head, wish I had some magic solution but I don\'t :(
What I can tell you is that you are making progress. You are making headway on the issues that you wanted to address. I know what you mean about faking emotion, if you met me in real life, or at work you wouldn\'t have a clue that I have depression. No one at work knows. In fact when I told one person that I knew IRL that I had depression she looked at me and laughed and told me to \'be serious\'.
Sometimes faking an emotion can lead us to feel the emotion. Sometimes even if it is just for a second we need to allow ourselves to be honest with how we are feeling. If that is blooming awful then that is okay. And if you need to turn the radio off well go for it!! At least it\'s only going to be advertised for another week so hopefully you can escape the constant reminders at least.
You know that we\'re here for you and thta we will do what we can to help you, no matter what state we\'re in ourselves, you\'re our friend David and we care about you and the Superstars
xxxxx