It seems I'm having one of my episodes where my motivation has effectively flatlined.
I don't have to think too hard to tell you why: I'm sick of feling like this...but there doesn't seem to be much conviction at the moment that I'm getting anywhere. In fact over the weekend when I "celebrated" my 34th birthday -- notice the quotes -- I was in such a non-celebratory mood that I made the day miserable for everybody else, too. Even a colleague who wanted to recognize it briefly when I was work was effectively told to shut up.
I don't know where to go from here; the issues that had to see progress this semester have instead seen no progress at all and at the moment I see little hope of that changing because who I have bee able to open up to has just been...an extension of the hiding behind females that I've done now for longer than I want to admit publicly (but I will, it's been for a good 18 years now).
This is how it is right now; I know I have to learn to trust, but me and my voices have just too much to work through to get there...ugh, I need more Skype friends...
:'(
I don't have to think too hard to tell you why: I'm sick of feling like this...but there doesn't seem to be much conviction at the moment that I'm getting anywhere. In fact over the weekend when I "celebrated" my 34th birthday -- notice the quotes -- I was in such a non-celebratory mood that I made the day miserable for everybody else, too. Even a colleague who wanted to recognize it briefly when I was work was effectively told to shut up.
I don't know where to go from here; the issues that had to see progress this semester have instead seen no progress at all and at the moment I see little hope of that changing because who I have bee able to open up to has just been...an extension of the hiding behind females that I've done now for longer than I want to admit publicly (but I will, it's been for a good 18 years now).
This is how it is right now; I know I have to learn to trust, but me and my voices have just too much to work through to get there...ugh, I need more Skype friends...
:'(
Replies
I\'m sorry you\'re feeling this way. :(
People with ongoing depression, we tend to get like that. After a long time of debilitating depression, we may give up on getting better. But we still can get better; something will work. :) There\'s still plenty of time for progress.
Whenever I don\'t have motivation (which is all the time), doing something that needs to be done seems to help with the lack of motivation. It seems to become easier after I\'ve started something and kept doing ir for awhile.
Keep doing what you\'re doing to try and help yourself and try new things as well.
It\'s your birthday and you\'ll cry if you want to. Happy (late) birthday HUGS
Still got me, and we are making progress, we are, if we weren\'t you wouldn\'t even be considering talking to more people on Skype!! You know that I am here for you no matter what! xx