(Warning: This is not being radio-edited.  If you don't like cusses, don't read any further.)
I am at the point this morning where I can't help but wonder if the lab points in my chemistry class -- what's still available from them -- shouldn't just be tossed away and forgotten about.  I have had it with my professor, and while it has been suggested that I consider the possibility of contacting him about working the labs solo, realistically it's not in me to do that.  He found a way to fuck up my request to be paired up a few weeks ago, so surely he's going to fuck up a request to work solo too.
I'm basically mad enough at the rest of my section that I want nothing to do with them now.  In theory I still have Joanna but since she can't help my heart is saying run away now, and don't let the door hit you on the way out.  When you consider that I don't let go of grudges easily, largely because I can't -- using people for alienation target practice has become easier than finding a willingness to work with them -- it's going to take something really compelling for me to not basically give up on the remaining labs right here, right now.
I don't have the class again until Thursday.  I think it's safe to say that I won't even consider working on it again until then, just thinking about this has me in a bad mood but it looks like there's no way through the walls right now.



Ok this may sound a little harsh, and you know that I don\'t mean it that way, but, ignore your heart right now!! Your heart is telling you to run based on past experiences, and those experiences have left you with a pattern of behaviour that will be very hard to change. However it is possible to change it!!
Joanna might not be able to help explain chemistry for you, but maybe you can explain it to her? Maybe the two of you can work together. Maybe you could be paired off together in the lab classes.
If you don\'t complete the lab points how will that affect your overall grade?

What is it that makes you unwilling to work with Joanna? Start small, maybe just suggest going over the lab from last week. Or suggest a coffee. Take small steps. It will be worth it.

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