This morning I'm still in untold emotional pain from the discoveries of 36 hours ago (previous entry). I am out of ideas and I can tell my morale has flatlined to a point I haven't felt in a very long time.
When I tried to live chat with friends last night I basically wasted my time...within a couple of minutes my heart just exploded into tears and I knew that no words would either express how I felt or help me feel any better after that. Right now, I see no signs at all that this is going to work out okay, not with my self-discipline problems, not with the way my confidence is right now.
I'll try revealing what I've found to my friend later, I guess, but the truth is right now I feel like a beaten man. It looks like I have no hope now of putting my issues behind me before I graduate next spring; I might as well be at a dead end.
I have nothing else to say right now.
When I tried to live chat with friends last night I basically wasted my time...within a couple of minutes my heart just exploded into tears and I knew that no words would either express how I felt or help me feel any better after that. Right now, I see no signs at all that this is going to work out okay, not with my self-discipline problems, not with the way my confidence is right now.
I'll try revealing what I've found to my friend later, I guess, but the truth is right now I feel like a beaten man. It looks like I have no hope now of putting my issues behind me before I graduate next spring; I might as well be at a dead end.
I have nothing else to say right now.
Replies
You are putting a time line and many judgements and assumptions into the mix that are unfair.Whatever all your issues are,you can heal from them and find relief from extreme emotional pain.It takes time,hard work,patience,all of these things to overcome incidents from our past.You cannot logically hope to sort this all out in a matter of months maybe not even years.Yes your morale will start out low,very low but the goal you are working towards will become a little bit more visible everyday,giving you extra energy.It took me 10 years of intense therapy to arrive where I am now,I couldn\'t have done it any other way.Even if you cannot afford therapy you can at least educate yourself about your personal issues and how others have dealt with them.To di that you need to specify what troubles you the most,is it some specific fear?Some specific anxiety?Can you write about it?Try again to communicate it is the healthy way to beat this thing.Will look forward to hearing from you.
sometimes a dead end is nothing more than a hurdle to climb over :D just a matter of climbing up hun, n i know you can do it. Also read the message i sent you. It may give more insight into this seemingly shallow comment ;) sometimes water is far deeper than it would seem at the surface.