Help...

So...I have my second summer course up and running now.  I hoped it would be a kind of buffer that would help protect me for the next couple of days until I'm clear of my sister's wedding.
That's not happening.  I'm sitting here with my reading target in front of me, but my heart is not in it.  In fact, I'm in the middle of a breakdown. :'(  
The visualizations I'm trying backfired last night; I had a nightmare that I'd made an inappropriate comment at a less than opportune time, which with the anxiety I have seems awfully close to reality.  I know I've tried to talk to some of my best friends here, but as this gets closer my nerves are getting worse.  This is just too big, too overwhelming, too scary...
...it's more than my heart can bear.  I don't know what I need more...the day to end so I can try again in the morning, or the week to end so that a sense of normality can come back to my life.  I really hope it isn't the latter because that implies that it will be Sunday before I'm stable enough to do anything on my course -- that would be too slow a start  -- ...
...
...(sigh) but right now, that's what it looks like.  I just want to cry, scream....everything.