Today is just a disaster waiting to happen.  My mood is stuck on red, my first summer course starts in a week, and I seem to be just drowning in self-doubt.
Tried to talk to a friend about it, and there's really no dispute that there's a pretty bad self-esteem problem.  She thinks I can get it back...but how do you get back something that you feel you've never had?
I've actually had people start to sarcastically call me "Mr. Happy", and I can't even argue with them...it's been a long time since I've actually been happy.  I don't think it's a stretch to say that I don't even know what it is or what it feels like.
Nothing else to say right now...