I guess last night the strain kinda showed over a game of dominoes.  I was asked when my finals were, and my parents noticed I was freaking out a little as I tried to recall exactly when mine are (finals week is in about two and a half weeks' time).
They're trying to let me be today, but my heart is basically torn into two.  Nobody, including me, really can argue against the fact that I haven't adjusted well to dad's retirement.  He has projects -- yesterday we put new gliders on the kitchen table where I'm trying (emphasis unfortunately on trying) to work on my LTPs today -- and I pretty much feel obligated to help him.  It's what I do.  Just about the only way I don't feel guilty about not trying to help is if he decides to take a nap in his room or pull out one of his books.  That's it.
I know this has me in trouble even though I could still theoretically wriggle out of this mess, and yet it seems pointless to try to talk it out.  With the trust issues I have (see previous entry) and with what experience has taught me (which is for the most part that people really don't care, again with the only real exception being here at DS), every day is a battle.  And most of these battles the last few months have ended in either stalemates or outright losses because these "people walls" feel pretty much set in stone...which means I'm playing Russian Roulette every time I need help.
Idk if there's much else I can say.