Every once in a while I get asked how bad my trust issues face-to-face can get.  When morale isn't too good, as it has been the last couple of days, it can get really suspect.
Yesterday there was supposed to be a library workshop for one of my classes that I have an LTP (long term project) in progress for.  The actual workshop was only supposed to be around 20-30 minutes long, and the rest of the class session was open for research purposes.
Okay, fine.  But there's one problem: The professor wasn't leading the workshop.  And I just know from experience two obstacles I mentally have: a) if the presenter was male, it would be an instant credibility killer (even after journaling out the worst of my HS memories, this is something that I'm probably stuck with for life just because its so entrenched), and b) honestly, this should have been set up a month ago because it leaves only two weeks, really, to pin the project down.
This was just too much for my heart to take.  The actual workshop, to be useful, really needed to be closer to the entire class period.  And with the mood I'm in, it was too easy to snap.  So I'm probably going to regret this later, but I went with my gut and cut the workshop entirely.  Compared to the other class misses I have against me this semester, this one was by far the most intentional.
The sad thing about it is, as I was getting my haircut this morning, I did have to concede the following: In theory I'm training to be a paralegal, but right now, the odds overwhelmingly favor becoming a pharmacy tech and studying pharmacy law on the side.  So far, it's been about the only thing I can do where my myriad of issues has been a non-factor or less of a factor.