Again, this is one of those things that I can't bring myself to put up on the boards, yet it bugs me really bad...
Today I'm going to try to register for the pharmacy technician certification exam that I had hoped I could have taken last summer. This much is fine; I'd love to lock that up and get it done with.
Here's what's not okay: My dad and I basically realize that as far as trying stuff that we got at Christmas goes, it will just lie there for months if it comes down to me actually being in the mood to do it. So he really had no choice but to take the recreation room game compilation he got at Christmas and make it one of my jobs today to mess around with it.
What's wrong with that? Put simply, I should have been able to do that because I wanted to, not because I had to. But this is what it's come down to: All the distancing tactics in the world won't be enough if I still have the hiding connotation with any fun stuff. And that's exactly the rub...I can't seem to come to terms with the idea that I can just be a hobbyist at a few different things with my spare time (because relying on one is just too dangerous with me) and not be a master at all of them. I just don't know how to destroy that mental block.
Which means at this rate, we'd have to do something similar to every last thing my dad wants me to try out, which would basically render its purpose useless. This is insane, I know...but this is what it's come down to. And frankly, it hurts.
Today I'm going to try to register for the pharmacy technician certification exam that I had hoped I could have taken last summer. This much is fine; I'd love to lock that up and get it done with.
Here's what's not okay: My dad and I basically realize that as far as trying stuff that we got at Christmas goes, it will just lie there for months if it comes down to me actually being in the mood to do it. So he really had no choice but to take the recreation room game compilation he got at Christmas and make it one of my jobs today to mess around with it.
What's wrong with that? Put simply, I should have been able to do that because I wanted to, not because I had to. But this is what it's come down to: All the distancing tactics in the world won't be enough if I still have the hiding connotation with any fun stuff. And that's exactly the rub...I can't seem to come to terms with the idea that I can just be a hobbyist at a few different things with my spare time (because relying on one is just too dangerous with me) and not be a master at all of them. I just don't know how to destroy that mental block.
Which means at this rate, we'd have to do something similar to every last thing my dad wants me to try out, which would basically render its purpose useless. This is insane, I know...but this is what it's come down to. And frankly, it hurts.
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