Today I had to hand in my sorry excuse of a final exam in my business law class.  Psychologically speaking, if I don't get a good enough grade to earn the credits for it, I'll really have no one to blame but myself.  It just hasn't been in me to fight back when I've been proverbially knocked down, and truth be told I have given up a few times over the course of the semester just because I have no means to find answers about what went wrong.
I've already had to concede to my mother that my plans are going to have to extend to the spring of 2013, which in its own way also feels like a failure.  A two-year plan was my goal, but I'm finding out the hard way that I don't have the stability or the capability to do that (the extent of my trust issues is a much larger liability than I can realistically put into words).
So Idk...for all intents and purposes, the last four months have just ended up being another emotional cross to bear.  The business law professor has encouraged the class to look forward, not behind, but I have a major problem with that.
I have so much baggage, it's impossible for me to NOT look behind.