Forced myself to catch up fully on my math course tonight so I could spend the next couple of days on other matters, including an observation visit to Malden (MA) District Court for a business law assignment (not as bad as it sounds). Still wishing I had my tutor back. Also now wishing there were more hours in the day because I really have no good chance to work through my feelings until the winter break, and that's not soon enough.
Reason: Said anxiety is taking its toll. Especially the last week, I've passed out much more than I've left because I feel like I have to constantly scheme ideas to get caught up and actually stay there. I paid a price for that on my second business law exam: Even though it was essay questions, eight of them, I thought I had done better than last time. Not the case: I panicked over creating answers that would be "good enough" within the time limit, and in so doing I missed the legal theories of law so completely on two questions that I didn't even get partial credit on them. So what had been a promising run ended up as a C because I only scored 75%.
It would help if I didn't panic so much, but panicking is the only reaction I know...and I don't have the inner strength to believe that everything will work out in the end.
In essence it's the same story as before: I need help, I can't get it in the way that would be most effective for me -- and I probably never will because I can't even give people a chance anymore without getting strung out -- so it becomes a case of "So what's the point?"
Reason: Said anxiety is taking its toll. Especially the last week, I've passed out much more than I've left because I feel like I have to constantly scheme ideas to get caught up and actually stay there. I paid a price for that on my second business law exam: Even though it was essay questions, eight of them, I thought I had done better than last time. Not the case: I panicked over creating answers that would be "good enough" within the time limit, and in so doing I missed the legal theories of law so completely on two questions that I didn't even get partial credit on them. So what had been a promising run ended up as a C because I only scored 75%.
It would help if I didn't panic so much, but panicking is the only reaction I know...and I don't have the inner strength to believe that everything will work out in the end.
In essence it's the same story as before: I need help, I can't get it in the way that would be most effective for me -- and I probably never will because I can't even give people a chance anymore without getting strung out -- so it becomes a case of "So what's the point?"
Replies
There is a point though...you\'ll end up graduating with good grades, and it\'ll all be just a memory. I know it\'s really hard right now. But just try to remember to breathe, and perhaps work on finding some method of relaxation to replace your instinct to panic (although believe me, I know how hard that is!!!!!). Wishing you the best :)
The point is that you are going to finally get your degree, just breathe more...Take your time and do your best. I know you will come out on the top. I believe in you :)
HUGS