I finally managed to finish the (expletive) factoring chapter in my math course tonight...2 weeks behind schedule.  (sigh) I so wish I still had my tutor...
So, I've reached the point where I basically have to dump my research paper topic...missing the library workshop was partially to blame because my questions about source credibility are permanently in limbo.  Problem is, I couldn't propose a new topic to the professor today...he was sick, and he hasn't responded to my e-mail yet.  My status is more a flipping show of frustration than anything else.
I don't think it's helping me that I'd rather avoid people like the plague given a choice, and I still can't come to terms with the possibility that I could just be neutral.  The emotional scars from so long ago still run deep...and honestly, even though I have a private journal going on my lappy now, some of these scars could well be beyond repair because they go back too far.
And oh yeah, I have to deal with a (expletive) birthday in two days that I really don't want to celebrate...but have to because people will be giving me stuff anyway.  But none of it is what I really want.
What I really want is to hit the rewind button and just start all over again.