Okay, so I have a plan set up for the next couple of weeks to get back on level terms with my courseload.  Today was out of the question for any progress because I had to go from work to school to mass for All Saints Day, and after all this my brain is basically shot (honestly, I'm surprised I'm even able to type this...probably because right now I'm flaming.)
It took all of one day for said plan to take a low blow.  My parents were planning to go out to dinner tomorrow night with a couple of their friends.  That plan fell through.  Okay, fine.
What has me pissed off (pardon the language) is what they didn't tell me: Their backup plans include me...to the same restaurant.
This is not what I wanted to hear.  It's difficult enough for me to wriggle out of the mess I'm in as it is.  Finding out that my first good chance is now basically shot (I'm not Superman) is worse.  Plus I know how my stamina has been running recently, which hasn't been good...and it's not going to get back to where it was overnight.
I know what I must clear for Wednesday, so I coughed up that info, but not before I gave them a tongue-lashing, because that's all I really know how to do: "If I have to work on Wednesday (which is always a possibility now), I'm bailing out and you won't be able to talk me back into it.  Plus, if you weren't so clueless I'd be a lot more open about my issues to you."
The sad thing about this is that they really are clueless: I've tried to talk about issues that I have many times, but they either do not listen or pass them off as bullshit.  But what haunts me is so real -- many of my issues go back years -- that just having to reach out to outside sources makes matters that much harder.
This essentially forced reaching out to DS is really all that I have (I have no means to get to a counselor), and while it does help...I know I'm rolling the dice every time I come on here.  And sometimes, those dice come up snake eyes.