I have to start this with a mini-vent: This morning I got a hug from someone I don't know here who seemed a little too interested in me (I promptly deleted it).  This is the third time I've gotten a hug or e-mail to that end.  This is not supposed to be a dating site, people!!!!
(Apologies to those of you who use DS for its intended purpose, that wasn't aimed at you.)
So, I finally have found a (meaning one) way to take a study break...quick games of Tetris.  Just one at a time (which for me takes around 10 minutes usually, give or take a minute or two either way).  Somehow, I've managed to come to terms with the fact that 100,000+ point games using the hold feature are good enough for me.  I haven't lost anything from the couple of games I've played (98K and 110K in my two games yesterday, one per break) but I'm well short of the 160K that is my personal best.
Here's what bugs me, though...I can't seem to come to terms with anything else.  There is a lot of trouble right now working through -- and thus out of -- the feeling that I ought to be accomplishing something all the time.  I realize that I have to take time for me but it doesn't feel like I'm taking anywhere near enough...and these nighttime visits at DS aren't counting for much to that end because I'm usually wiped out at that time anyway.
I try looking for a balance but it doesn't seem to be there.  It seems I'm always heavy on one side or the other, and my heart isn't happy.  I don't know how to walk the fine line in the middle...I'd love to experiment, but it seems every time that a plan goes wrong, I instantly feel discouraged inside....I guess I could describe it as a feeling of failing.
I've conceded to a friend here that I've reached the point where if something doesn't help further a goal, I'm afraid to touch it.  Does it sound like I'm coming closer to why I feel that way to anyone?