I haven't posted much lately and haven't visited the site as much as I like so I will journal my updates.  It has been over 90 days of not gambling and the last ones have been much easier than the first couple that is for sure!  I did just have another one of those evenings that in the past would have turned into gambling until oblivion and every hole in the wall casino that I drove by was calling my name but thankfully I did not cave in.  It is strange how the addiction will creep in when you are having a good day and don't have any intention of gambling then it hits you because you are in the old patterns that used to lead you to the casino.  After 90 days of not gambling I was hoping that I would be in a much better financial situation but we are not there yet.  Making progress slowly but part of me says if I could just go win a grand or so that would help, but I know the reality is It would only drag me down more and I don't want to go that route.  
today I will not gamble - thank you God for being with me and keeping me strong.  Please help me stay on track and improve our financial situation.