Well I made it. I had the worst day yesterday playing mind games with myself about my entitlement to relax and play video poker. I had a pocket full of money and all day to myself. I kept myself busy buying paint, visiting my daughter, and a friend, going to the grocery store and planning a nice meal for my family. I am on day 7 again but this time I am counting 16 days with one slip up. For me this feels like a miracle because I would have gone at least 6 or 7 times at $200 to $300 a pop by now if I was still gambling. I truely believe this disease does have to be conquered one day at a time. I feel very fortunate to have found this site in my deserate search for help. I think that perhaps attending a GA meeting or therapy to get at the root of my addictive behavior will need to be my next step.
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Hi,
Welcome to the site - I read your latest post and can certainly relate to what you say about the pull back and forth.. I am on Day 14 (again). I\'ve had difficulty too remembering the bad stuff, since as the days go on, we selectly put that out of our memory, but it is reality. The last time I went I was very embarrassed by having my ATM card get stuck in the machine; Number one I shouldn\'t have been taking any more money out, and two - it caused a commotion with the attendant having to come over with a key, etc. and another more experienced person . . I could have just crawled into the floor at that point. :] Very ashamed, actually, but I am remembering that moment and the painful rides home with $0 dollars, can\'t even buy yourself a coke or lunch... ugh. Keep focusing on those things. Great to have you join us...
GA is a great source - I went some time ago and when I was working the program, it really did help!
Take a day at a time and don\'t gamble - you\'ll feel soo much better.
Yes one day at a time. You are doing great! This weekend was difficult for me, too, but I made it to day 9 today. I am committing to pulling out all the stops to get better -- therapy, GA meetings, talking to friends and family -- whatever I need to do to get better. It\'s been way too long since I have taken care of myself and made myself \"worth it\". Relish that feeling of money in your pocket and the times spent with your family -- these are the things that are truly important.
I will not gamble today.