just want to carve into my arm and watch the blood flow.  Hurting so bad.  Will it ever end?  Will I ever be free from immense pain?  So hard.   Want to fly away, want to feel good, want to be someone.  I never stop wanting to feel good.  When will goodness come? I'm so hot on this guy at church but the last time I was attracted to someone he turned out to be gay and the time before that it was my uncle.  I don't know if I can trust my feelings.