I so want parents. Please just one parent. An aunt, a cousin, anything. Please. So fucking alone! Then I have people telling me that they care about me. Where were you when I was snorting coke at age 14? Giving a baby up for adoption at 19. Living in group home after group home? Sucking dick just to have some help in my life. Family? Caring? Yea right. I'm an orphan through and through. I just hope I can learn to love and care for others instead of deserting and abandoning like I was treated. They only want you after you've made something of yourself. I want to forgive but it's hard when I struggle everyday to correct my mistakes and faulty thinking derived from a compete absence of parenting as a child, or family at all for that matter. God I miss my hometown. I want to go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I\'m sorry your feeling lonely and sad today. Even into my 40s I fantasized about finding an older woman who would want to be like the mom my real mom never was. I longed for this to so long. I know how lonely that feels. I have learned even while being alone that the most fulfilling thing I have done in the face of hardship and terrible memories is to reach out and love someone. Be good and a comfort to someone else. It helps. I hope you feel better as the day passes. It\'s St Pat\'s day and probably warm in the Bay Area. Take care.