Not Good
I'm annoyed with Geo's dad. He was supposed to lend us the truck today so we could go grocery shopping and get dinner, but he didn't call until 5:30 and said it was too late. He lied and said he had called earlier, but Geo checked his phone and he didn't have a missed call. I didn't have anything ready for dinner since we were supposed to go out to eat, and so I had to defrost some chicken and find something to go with it. I finally found some potatoes under the mail. It was a little packet of instant potatoes. I don't know how it got mixed with the mail.
I just got kinda suicidal. I went out and sat with Geo for a bit. I've been battling the feeling all day, from wanting to hang myself and slit my wrists and such. I think it's because I'm so tired. I think I'm going to try and stay awake from the first logical time I wake up tomorrow. If I go to sleep at 11 and wake up at 7, I'm going back to sleep. If I wake up at 10, I would get up. I always say that, but I never do. But if it's pushing me to this limit, I need to see how staying awake helps if it does at all. I was going to say it shouldn't be a problem, but I always manage to mess up sleep.
Mood today was horrible. I did manage to get to the gym for like 5 minutes since my knee was hurting and I was trying to save it for the store which we didn't even get to go to.... argh! There's just so much that's annoying me right now. Food today was good.. I'm low on calories, but saving up for Chinese if we go tomorrow. I should take food out tonight just in case Geo's dad does the same thing again. It's just so annoying having to depend on others.
I just got kinda suicidal. I went out and sat with Geo for a bit. I've been battling the feeling all day, from wanting to hang myself and slit my wrists and such. I think it's because I'm so tired. I think I'm going to try and stay awake from the first logical time I wake up tomorrow. If I go to sleep at 11 and wake up at 7, I'm going back to sleep. If I wake up at 10, I would get up. I always say that, but I never do. But if it's pushing me to this limit, I need to see how staying awake helps if it does at all. I was going to say it shouldn't be a problem, but I always manage to mess up sleep.
Mood today was horrible. I did manage to get to the gym for like 5 minutes since my knee was hurting and I was trying to save it for the store which we didn't even get to go to.... argh! There's just so much that's annoying me right now. Food today was good.. I'm low on calories, but saving up for Chinese if we go tomorrow. I should take food out tonight just in case Geo's dad does the same thing again. It's just so annoying having to depend on others.
Replies
I hope you get your shopping done and then can enjoy a great weekend. I like your idea to try to get a more stable daytime schedule.
how disappointing ! i hope you get the car today. when you start feeling those thoughts because of a situation, talk about it, journal it and try and get out, anything but thinking suicadal, it just isnt worth it. i hope you get chinese! i think if you can get a better sleep schedule, and get up earlier, get whatever done, you will have an easier time falling to sleep at night and the days wont be so crazy.