Hey Gang.... Went to the Doc again today and the med he put me on a month is causing me a hangover effect and a side effect is weight gain. I am already 185 (was 200 when Brent was killed), And I have noticed I have been wanting to eat more, I thought it was because I was calming down a little since the holidays are over, but NOOOO. So I am going to wean of that med (Seroquel).... so back to the Nightmares for a while I guess. I plan to pray my guts out when I go to bed until I fall to sleep. I will take a valium 10mg to get to sleep and prevent the horrible dreams, but I hate taking something that addictive. I miss my buddy (my baby Brent).... I have been forcing myself to accept this is God's will for me. I think I have been doing pretty good with that until today.... I want to see him, even if just for 5 minutes, just to hear him say "Moma, I want to go with Derrick back to Heaven. I'll wait for you, Okay." (you know there is no perception of time in Heaven, years to us is days to them.) Then that would be all I needed to accept this tragedy. And to hear him say "It didn't hurt Moma, I'm Okay." Well that's how I feel today, I'm, sure I will feel better soon. Also I am filing for SSI, does anyone have any suggestions to help me get approved. I haven't been denied yet, I have just started the process, any information would help at this time. I no nothing about the process. Thanks for being here for me!! Love and Prayers to all!!