Tonight

It seems the depression only gets worse at night. Why do I miss someone and love someone who has hurt me so deeply? I believe in the old fashion "work it out". Every one who knows even a little about my past should be able to understand how hard it is for me to open myself up and get close to another human being in person... I'm a wreck and a mess. The good news is that I don't feel like I need to cut at the moment. I think my mind is just much too weary. I want to cry but again feel much too drained. Is this even normal?