Crazy

Just ready to go home and crawl in bed and just be there.  I wish I could shut this irritability off...i feel so mean.  It feels like every negative emotion I have is coming out. 
I feel helpless.  I told my hb that I decided to get into the counseling, I have an appt on nov 15.  But he acts like I shouldn't, because the social work program will find out. 
Why does it have to be this way, damned if I don't, damned if I do.  I have absolutely no one to talk to about my stresses and feelings.  Except on here.  I don't know what I will do now.
I kinda feel like just letting go of the door to my feelings, I feel like I've been holding my emotions back...I just want to say and do whatever I think or feel and just whatever. 
I guess that sounds a bit impulsive...I am the most dangerous to myself and others when I am like that. 
I feel like getting drunk or high or something...anything but this bad feeling I have right now.