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Ugh...don't know where the money for this months bills is coming from....and we will be needing propane soon for the heater. This really blows.  Its been like this all year, but something has come thru every time, eventually.  The stress of it has been almost unbearable at times.  I get tired of fighting all the time....wish we could catch a break.  I remember at the beginning of last year I was so hopeful for a good year and its been struggle after struggle.  I dare not hope again at the coming of this next year.  I need that top of the world feeling...haven't felt it in a while...just a little hypomania to help me through would be nice, minus the crazy irritable mania that sometimes follows...