I almost went to the ER last night but my husband calmed me down and i fell asleep after taking my ativan.  I do need to see a doc though and see if i can get a med tweak or new meds or something.  I'm currently not on a mood stabilizer and maybe that is what is going on.  I'm going to talk to my general doc and see if they can help me out Monday.  I'm just not getting what i need out of my meds anymore.
I'm feeling better today, i went to watch my nephew do his karate practice with my sister who took me out for supper.  It was nice being with them.  My sister is 5 mo pregnant and today is the day 6 years ago that i lost my first baby so that was on my mind as my sister's face glowed as the baby was kicking her and stuff.  I just smile and pretend to be excited.  I'm glad she is pregnant with a baby girl now but i'm also jealous because i'm afraid it will just never happen for me.  Its not the right time now anyway, i need to be more stable.  But i feel that clock ticking away for me...
I was so mad yesterday, this guy had the audacity to tell me that i need to get a job and stop living off of the government unemployment..i told him he needed to take his ass over here to this town and try to find a job and besides its my money, i worked for it.    I got so hurt and pissed off about it, but i've calmed down today.  Some people, they just don't get it and they run their mouths about stuff they have no clue about.