My journal
It's my journal, so I can write what I want. I can whine, complain, despair, rejoice. I don't have to explain myself. I can write just for the experience. To try to put down what's going through my head.
I've gone 3 weeks without drinking. I sleep great. That's the best part. So far there have been no great achievements. I mean, my thinking is no better. I can't see that I'm doing more or better work. The depressed feelings I get are shorter, and easier to ignore. That's good. I'm going to stay away from alcohol, hopefully for the rest of my life. I'm looking forward to a happier life.
I've been off a lot lately. Year end "use or lose" days. Tomorrow is my first 5 day work week since the beginning of December. I want to do better at work. But I want to leave work and not think about it when I'm not there.
I'm getting older. I wonder sometimes if my mental capacity is starting to decline. I figure, if I quit drinking, maybe that will offset the natural ageing of my brain.
I've always worked out. I ran most of my adult life. Sciatica put a stop to that. So now I ride a bike as much as I can. Physically, I think I'm in pretty good shape. I think about the heart disease that runs in my family. Both my parents had bypass surgery. My father died at 57, the age I am now. My mother lived into her mid-70s. Her liver killed her, not her heart. Both my parents drank and smoked. I don neither, now. Maybe I'll live a little longer. I don't care a whole lot how old I get. I'd just like to be healthy as I grow older. I don't want to die slowly, in pain. And I don't want to be a burden to anyone.
I don't socialize very well. I attribute that to alcohol. For years I mainly drank when I was alone. So I didn't care about interacting with other people. And I was selfish. I didn't care about others. I'd like to change that. Not sure how. I guess I could force myself into social situations, like AA meetings.
I respect AA. It's a program, like a diet. And like diets, it will work so long as it's followed. Any program will work if it's properly executed. With diets, it's simple. to lose weight, you simply have to consume fewer calories thatn you burn. To be sober, you simply cannot take in something that inebriates you. It's that simple.
I've gone 3 weeks without drinking. I sleep great. That's the best part. So far there have been no great achievements. I mean, my thinking is no better. I can't see that I'm doing more or better work. The depressed feelings I get are shorter, and easier to ignore. That's good. I'm going to stay away from alcohol, hopefully for the rest of my life. I'm looking forward to a happier life.
I've been off a lot lately. Year end "use or lose" days. Tomorrow is my first 5 day work week since the beginning of December. I want to do better at work. But I want to leave work and not think about it when I'm not there.
I'm getting older. I wonder sometimes if my mental capacity is starting to decline. I figure, if I quit drinking, maybe that will offset the natural ageing of my brain.
I've always worked out. I ran most of my adult life. Sciatica put a stop to that. So now I ride a bike as much as I can. Physically, I think I'm in pretty good shape. I think about the heart disease that runs in my family. Both my parents had bypass surgery. My father died at 57, the age I am now. My mother lived into her mid-70s. Her liver killed her, not her heart. Both my parents drank and smoked. I don neither, now. Maybe I'll live a little longer. I don't care a whole lot how old I get. I'd just like to be healthy as I grow older. I don't want to die slowly, in pain. And I don't want to be a burden to anyone.
I don't socialize very well. I attribute that to alcohol. For years I mainly drank when I was alone. So I didn't care about interacting with other people. And I was selfish. I didn't care about others. I'd like to change that. Not sure how. I guess I could force myself into social situations, like AA meetings.
I respect AA. It's a program, like a diet. And like diets, it will work so long as it's followed. Any program will work if it's properly executed. With diets, it's simple. to lose weight, you simply have to consume fewer calories thatn you burn. To be sober, you simply cannot take in something that inebriates you. It's that simple.
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