16 days

its been 16 days since the split, all i have done is gotten  a new puppy, which I am wondering...."was that a smart move?" its crazy to have this little thing that wants so much love from me!  I almost think maybe this is what i should have done years ago instead of searching for it other people.  The only problem i have is taking care of it, which is kinda silly.  
SO, i still have NO routine, no schedual, nothing.  I am still very disorganized, messy, and stagnant.
That part sucks.  I still feel like i am in waiting for HIM to call me or tell me what to do next...I am still mindful of HIS approval of everything I do.  I feel like any action, choice, or thought is useless and stupid. Why on earth do I feel this way, why have I allowed nothing to control me.  Is it even HIM, or is it something deeper?  
I hope this entire mindeframe resolves because I feel like worldly esistance is silly.