I'm back

I got to see my family this week, I feel so much better. I think when I get trapped in this house without seeing anyone for awhile I get too depressed to even function. I feel like I have been living in a dark hole for months, and I am just now waking up to daylight. I really want to get checked for bipolar disorder because I do this multiple times a year; I will literally go to bed for week or months and be miserable for days on end and contemplate suicide and walk around in sweats feeling like all I want to do is go back to bed. Then suddenly one day I get up and I am ok again, it's ridiculous.
Anyway, for the 3rd year in a row I am on a diet. But I have a treadmill this time and it is a lot easier to use than my old bike or even the wii games I hate so much, and I also have green smoothies on my side this time so I HOPE I can stick to it beyond the usual 3-4 months.
I bought my Sophia a memorial brick on "Noah's walkway", it's a path made entirely of angel baby bricks in a park here in Oregon, I get to see it unveiled on the 28th. It makes my heart happy to know even 3 1/2 years later I can keep her memory alive.
We are also trying again for a baby, but with my infertility problems we are not expecting anything anytime soon. I am not even having periods right now, so I hope with a good diet and exercise my hormones will regulate naturally, I am not stressed about it, if God gives me a baby then I will be really happy, but if not, I am not going to b angry.

Love you all, -June