Sometimes, I really wonder how I got to this place I'm at.  It's been almost two years that I've been with the father of my child, yet it seems like some things haven't improved.  I had hoped over time he would adjust and get used to it.  Yet, sometimes, I still see a hint of how much he never wanted her.  I honestly don't know what to do at this point.  It seems like our relationship is hanging by a thread.  Some days, it seems like everything is alright, like we might make it.  Then there are the days were we basically don't interact at all.  I spend so much of my time in such a lonely place that sometimes, I don't know if I'll ever make it out.  It's like a big black hole is swallowing me, and there is nothing I can do to fix it.  I just want to have a chance to be happy.  I want to be able to raise my baby in a loving home.  I just want the best for her.  Yet it seems like I want too much.