I know I haven't written in a while, but I'm not on much.  Today is just one of the days when I feel like my entire world is crashing down around me.  It's like every  thing suddenly decided to come after me now.  Between being sick so many times, the puking, the miscarrage, the guy problems, my family problems... I don't know what to do with myself anymore.  Some times, I just want to scream and throw things.  I just want to let it all out.  But I don't.  I hold it in.  I help everyone else.  I console them when they feel bad.  I keep to myself.  One day it's going to be too much and I'm going to explode.  I can feel everything just building up.  Day after day, more and more pressure.  I want to crawl into a black hole and sink.  I don't want to be awake, I don't want to eat, I don't want to move, I don't want to talk.  I simply want to fade away.