Coming to work yesterday after five days off, I was excited and worried.  I was excited because the house I work in has a scale, my family doesn't have one as I broke it with over use, and I knew I would get a chance to weigh myself at some point while the kids were busy.  However, I was worried, actually terrified, because I knew that it was possible that I had gained weight over the Thanksgiving break.  Stepping on the scale, my worst fear came true, I gained 3lbs!  I know that to most people 3lbs, especially over Thanksgiving, is nothing to fret about.  To me, it's like the end of the world.  My mind is in a tailspin, over 3lbs!  To make it worse.. I'm freaking out over it.. and I know that logicaly, it's most likely water weight.  See, I "prepared" for Thanksgiving.  So by the time the holiday got here, I was dehydrated from all the resrictions on fluid and the laxitives.  So really... I didn't gain any "real" weight.  Yet, I can't stop myself from thinking this is the begining of me blowing up like a ballon.  I am scared for Christmas, actually terrified of the holiday that most people love so much? How can this make any sense?  Mostly, I am scared that I will slip back into my habit of purging to avoid the weight gain.  Yesterday .. I did purge.  I had stoped for about a month, and this set back makes me fear that I can't recover.  What if I am a lost cause?  My parents don't even know I have an eating disorder.  They knew when I was in 9th grade that I purged, but they think it all went away when I spent a week in the hospital for trying to kill myself.  They don't realize that I've had and ED since 8th grade and that it continues to this day.  I've been suffering for about six years now, and they think it was a short lived phase that went away years ago.  How do I make them see that I am still suffering, without them getting disapointed in me?