Bad day
I am having such a bad day. We moved to Virginia and I hated it. So I began to make plans to move back to New Hampshire, where I was from, but then plans changed. This guy I knew started texting me again and then he asked me out. I liked him when we were in school so I said yes, thus changing my plans. Now my life is way over complicated. One) he is going into the Marines, he was supposed to leave in September, but his mom kicked him out. Now he's leaving Monday. Two) He came over last Sunday and we hung out. He wanted to have sex, but I didn't feel right about it. My parents were right in the room next door. Luckily, I was on my period and able to use that as an excuse. Three) He came over again last night. I gave in and we had sex. I wanted to, but at the same time I was nervous about what would happen. This led to sub-problems. A) I think that my mom or dad might have heard us. My mom hasn't talked to me and was texting me about how she doesn't think that she can trust me. B) We didn't use anything. I'm not on birthcontrol because it makes me sick, but he never asked so he doesn't know. Condoms were not used either. So now I'm worried that I might end up pregnant. I don't know what I'm going to do if I am. My parents would freak out. Him and I are too young to deal with this, we both just turned 18. So now I have no idea what to do. My life is falling apart. Not to mention that my eating disorder has taken me over again. I have completely stopped eating on most days, I just don't feel like it. My parents don't even pay attention anymore, they don't even let me know when dinner is ready because they assume that I'm not going to eat. Sometimes during the day I will eat, but if it's more than like 200 calories I puke. I am running on empty and I don't know what to do anymore. My body is messing up, I hurt all the time. I want to just fix this all, but I don't have a magic wand. It's gotten bad. Today my boyfriend heard my stomach growling and told me I needed to go eat. I went and ate a few salad leaves so I could say I had eaten. Right now I am trying to eat a poptart, just so I have something in my body. However it is not going well. I feel like everything around me is falling apart, and I'm being sucked down.
Replies
i hope everything works out for you. relationships can be so complicated, especially when you are young. you may want to get your tubes tied or try the patch or the shot or something. i know when i first went on the pill, the pill i tried made me sick and had break through bleeding, awful stuff, then i went on this other pill and it was perfect. i stayed on it for like ten or more years. i actually miss being on the pill because it gives you total control of your life. no mood swings, no weight gain, no irritability. all of my friends not on it, would be going through all this crap, and i was like wow, that\'s too bad, because i was totally fine. another friend of mine had a baby during college because her boyfriend of six years told her if she aborted it that he would leave her for good. so she had the baby, but she also had her tubes tied. lol. she says one is more than enough. they tried to talk her out of it at the hospital and she couldn\'t believe the audacity, its HER body, its not up to anyone else what she does with HER body. she can always untie them when she is 35 if she changes her mind and wants another kid.
hope everything goes well. xxoo