i have been getting so stressed with school.  and today i was on my floor giving myself my weekly manicure ( you know, so i get used to doing special things for myself) and i suddenly thought "oh my god i and so horribly FATTT!!" and then sat there for like six minutes checking every part of me.  then i just started crying, i had like no control over it i cried because i was so huge!  and i never cry.  it just hit so hard for some reason today.  i guess i hadn't looked at myself for a while.   then i took a hand full of pills , random mixed pain meds and prozac/cimbalta, and past out for a couple hours.  and i am so dreding school to morrow.