CRAZY!!!!!
I was diagnosed as being codependent a year ago when I was being treated for depression. I really didn't educate myself. Just knew the highlights, people pleaser and avoid conflict. I had come to realize I had been that way since child hood. Everyones problems were my problems. I tried to control the situation and FIX it.
Well, I've been divorced two years and only dated a few guys. Of course they were guys that I knew wouldn't turn into a relationship. However, it seemed like a trend with all of them. They acted crazy about me and seemed very attracted to me but then they started to appear less interested. I felt I acted desperate and crazy as it was ending.
However, this last guy did something that upset me. I was angry. I always think my actions through. Lash out or pretend it didn't bother me. Well, I chose to lash out and tell him it was unacceptable. He didnt think it was a big deal and apologized. But I couldnt let it go. Well, he didnt talk to me much the next few days. Then I just kept on and on. He told me I was coming off obsessive. Oh wow, I was.... I then started trying to fix it because I was obsessed over the situation and wanted to make it right. However, I was coming off "creepy" his words. Well, he ended it and I have been going crazy because I can't fix it. I know it shouldn't care about his opinion because I apologized and tried to explain why I was acting that way.
I then started thinking; why am I so crazy? I finally started reading more about co-dependency and I was amazed of how much this controls my life, feelings, actions and thoughts. I hate it because I don't know how to stop. It has made me very depressed. I always thought I was such a controlled person and to find out I am out of control. I've ordered some self help books. There are not any support groups in the area. So, I'm on my own.
Well, I've been divorced two years and only dated a few guys. Of course they were guys that I knew wouldn't turn into a relationship. However, it seemed like a trend with all of them. They acted crazy about me and seemed very attracted to me but then they started to appear less interested. I felt I acted desperate and crazy as it was ending.
However, this last guy did something that upset me. I was angry. I always think my actions through. Lash out or pretend it didn't bother me. Well, I chose to lash out and tell him it was unacceptable. He didnt think it was a big deal and apologized. But I couldnt let it go. Well, he didnt talk to me much the next few days. Then I just kept on and on. He told me I was coming off obsessive. Oh wow, I was.... I then started trying to fix it because I was obsessed over the situation and wanted to make it right. However, I was coming off "creepy" his words. Well, he ended it and I have been going crazy because I can't fix it. I know it shouldn't care about his opinion because I apologized and tried to explain why I was acting that way.
I then started thinking; why am I so crazy? I finally started reading more about co-dependency and I was amazed of how much this controls my life, feelings, actions and thoughts. I hate it because I don't know how to stop. It has made me very depressed. I always thought I was such a controlled person and to find out I am out of control. I've ordered some self help books. There are not any support groups in the area. So, I'm on my own.
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