This is my life.

Today seemed to start out ok. But the H was fighting anger issues all day. I thought he was keeping them under control and everything would be fine. Well my drunk brother stopped over and asked for a ride home so me and H figured we were going into town anyways. My brother was the one who saw my H at the OW's house...which led to the dday. And I never told either of my brothers of my H cheating because they might would hurt him. So I guess my brother told my H that if he finds out that he's cheating on his sister he would come after him. I guess that didn't set to well with my H. On the way home my H just went off about how the more he thinks about it that it pisses him off more and more. My H said he just wanted to tell my brother (and he was yelling this when he said it) "Yes I had sex with someone else and its on video, do ya what to see". I don't care how mad he was at my brother....he was just being protective of his sister. And does my H not think of the things that are coming out of his mouth that they hurt! Why would he care about hurting me...am I joken? He has no concept of it. And he is still pissed off. Driving crazy the whole way home. Throwing the keys in my lap when he left the car and slammed the car door. Now he is in the bedroom with the door shut. I am not running to him this time. I am tired of trying to do everything for him to make him happy while I was the one done wrong. Hes probably just looking for a excuse to be able to leave because his actions are not rational. Maybe he didn't want to be the bad guy so this way he can say he tried but it didn't work because of me. Or maybe he is just insane. Ruff day:( Not sure what will come of the rest of it. Oh I forgot he went to counseling with me last night. Went ok I guess. We gave him the option to decide if he wanted to come back next week. I don't know if he will because the counselor said we needed to work through the A and not sweep it under the rug like he wanted to do. He doesn't want to deal with it. I wish he new what he did, what I feel. I guess I thought that because we talk , go to counseling and he reads my journel that maybe he would understand what I am going threw. But yesterday the counselor said as she looked into my eyes that he will never understand what your going threw.  It made me feel  so alone in that room. Like nobody could understand the pain or million reasons why I feel like a basket case. It made me mad at him again. It's not fare he should know how he hurt me. Right now I feel like screw him. This is my life...What happened? Sorry if I am ranting but I feel better if I can share my pathetic story.