Well, after a hellish four days Im feeling a lot better tonight.  Sent an email to AA and someone got back to me within a few hours, urging me to call the national number, which tonight I finally plucked up the courage to do.  Someone from my area is going to call back tomorrow, and then arrange meetings.  I feel a tremendous relief, talking to someone who did understood. My girlfriend and Mum are patient, long suffering and I love them immensely, but today I felt, for the first time, like I was connecting with peers.  Hope everyone's ok, and thanks for the hugs and messages.