back again
I'm pushing everyone away, soon I will be alone and then I can end it. I have these voices in my head telling me that's the way to do it. I've lost the kids AGAIN, second time and only get 2hrs access a week. I'm in such a dark place, but no one wants to know, so I put on a brave smile and say "I'm fine". I live in a one room with ensuite. It's my prison. with one phone call a day to my kids.
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You are certainly not alone - there are people out here who will listen to you and want you to feel better.
I bet your children are the world to you :) Use them as inspiration to light your prison - think of all the positives: you have access to them, you can call them and talk to them, you are alive...etc.