I promised myself that I would start to take the steps necessary to heal.  I need to come to terms with everything that happened to me as I was growing up.  I know it wont be easy.  I'm not even sure where to start.  I know I need to get it all out but I'm scared about doing that.  What if it brings out emotions I can't handle.  I don't want to go back there and face it.  I carry it with me and it walks behind me like my shadow.   I'm seeing a counsellor tonight, I hope she can help me but I don't know where to start with her either.  What if I can't say the words.