...morning is rolling across the sky....soft clear blue skies, gentle fluffy clouds.  the sun is still stretching.
she is thinking about creating dancing rays of light and shadow on us here below.  she's awake, but still fairly silent in the privacy of her boudoir..............she wakes slowly like many of us - i like that about her!
i have known people who wake up fast.  on their toes, nimble, fired up, raring to go.  so cheerful, whistling......hair still damp from the shower......dressed, boots on........ready for action & adventure.  Indiana Jones - Stallone - Lara Croft--- Spy Kids....action heroes in adventure movies. they are movers and shakers at sunrise. 
they are up and at 'em, they hop into the shower, they jump to their feet, they fly through the house......they got places to go and people to see.......they are on the run, they gotta hurry.......most of this particular type is pretty doggone cheery about the whole business of life before high noon.
i have never been a morning baby, child, teen or adult..........i believe i'm part of some zany plot to live in the wrong time zone for the whole of my life.  however......i do wish to confess that being awake this morning is glorious.  the crickets are chirping.......there is a bushy tailed squirrel on one of the red chairs on the patio.  i put bread crumbs on the lawn yesterday and whoever came for tea & crumbs  licked the grass plate clean ----- A L L  G O N E !
i am turning an important corner.  i can feel it. it may not seem like a big difference to anyone who sees me.......but i can tell.  i am moving better.  i am more alert.  i feel like someone finally lifted the big heavy safe that fell out of the cartoon network window off of my smashed body.........being pinned like that for a long time is not happiness. 
the birds are singing........i felt too crummy to hear any of that.  to see it. too look out or look up.  this is different, this is improved, this is better!
have you ever found yourself sitting in a car that is unexpectedly dead?  you keep trying the ignition key, urging the engine to turn over?  nothing, so you wait a few minutes and try again.  you feel frustrated, puzzle it out........is it about the gas?  the battery?  something worse.......NO don't let it be something worse!  you feel certain that you have plenty of fuel, well.......enough anyway....it doesn't take long and you realize your car is in trouble.  you can't go anywhere.  you're stuck until further notice.
that's what makes life so hard for sick folks.  on any given day we're already existing within the framework of this sketchy car body/engine and all it's parts situation.  we don't know if on this day or the next how it's gonna roll.  we have engine pings, tires that suddenly without warning go flat - have a blow out
...........sometimes we careen around corners on two wheels........we have creaks - make really funny noises.  popping sounds, clicking sounds, our horn is frequently broken.........we don't have enough pep to work the horn.
our engines don't turn over and the thing is that we're not yer average car......no sirree, we're smart cars.....with incredible brain computer chips that boggle the mind. the personal technology is so fascinating..............carefully crafted and built within the car body........our brain can light up and want to go, but the engine still stalls out repeatedly --- it doesn't get enough of something to come roaring to life, we short out, other times we want to go, but smoke and fog clog engine lines and again the engine won't turn over.  we run the full gamut from tranny problems to timing belts, something is wrong with our crankshaft........sometimes we end up getting bad fuel, sometimes the engine doctors try something that gums up the whole works..........
sometimes we can limp along......on one bad tire, but it's not good.  cause we're tearing up an expensive rim.....we're not balanced.......i guess all in all we're high test formula one race cars with human brains cause it takes a lot of just right to keep us flying round the track.
and for those who knew us when we first came off the assembly line and knew how much we could do, how fast we could go.................it's hard for them to know we are still us on the inside.  i mean we all age.......but with a little spit and polish......some fresh wax we clean up nice......we still have sparkle and shine............the little engine that could suddenly ran out of energy.  kersplat just like that.......
but this morning i feel like the pit crew arrived and i'm coming back to life................i'm almost giggling. cause i'm whipped and need to pull into pit row.  soooo ready for a nap now.  i can nap happy today.
.........thank u for praying for me, for helping me turn this corner.......ya'll are such a loving spoonful................praying for you also.  praying that you will be able to rest, to recup some of your energy, that the misery will lift.........that the hope can begin to seep through your veins again .................for most folks the way i feel right now, might not LOOK a whole lot different, but internally the difference is huge........this morning my engine turned over.  sweet........................!