I always feel so down and hopeless. I especially am down about living alone. I long to be in a relationship where I am loved and cared for but see no way, have no hope of that happpening. I can't talk to people normally, positively. And who wants to be with some one who is always down. I got on meds 3 months ago and they have really helped. But altho I am calm and no longer have mood swings I am still depressed. I have never been a "people person". I prefer to have a few close friends, and I do. But I need to live with a best friend/lover/caregiver and can't find one. Every day is the same. Work, eat, sleep, do it over again. There is no joy in seeing friends, I just envy that they have what I long for. They are caring and listen and help all they can but I still need that one special person in my life. And I still live alone.