You'll definitely have to scroll up to see this one. It is so simplistic but beautiful.

I did not sleep well again last night!!! So I'm even more exhausted than yesterday,if that's possible. Strange dreams!!! Toss and turn all night long. I'm still in my jammies and it's 11:30. I plan on staying that way too. going to get a soak in the hottub maybe this will unwind me a bit. Maybe and afternoon nap. Not likely, I can never sleep in the day time.

Pdoc fiddled with my meds some more, didn't add any new ones just played with the doses. won't know how they work until I'm finished with the present prescription. I know or I hope that someday they'll get it right. fifteen years ago when I was first diagnosed it took 2 and 1/2 years to get me stable. It's been almost 2 years now. I think I have come to realize that my life will never be the same. I will have to give up teaching because of the immense stress it puts on me. I just can't handle it as much as I want to, it just seems that I'm too far down the road to make it back to that place again. However, I think that I'll be okay with that as long as I can reach a level of serenity and happiness. I need to be in control of my stressors and teaching is definitely not on the list. But my life will go on, with it's ups and downs. I only hope that there is more sunshine than rain. I feel so blessed that I have such a wonderful supportive family that loves me unconditionally and a hubby that's .... everything to me. I do not face the trials of financial difficulties or getting my meds paid for. I don't have to live with constant, extreme pain as some of my DS friends do. I don't have the issues of growing up in an abusive household or are presently in that kind of relationship. I don't know how you people hang in there day after day. You are much stronger than I am. sometimes I feel like such a baby complaining about my problems when they are minute compared to others.

On a lighter note my daughter FINALLY got a job that gives her fulltime hours!!! She will soon be able to handle her own bills without mom baling her out. But then again what are mums for??? she gets really depressed when she needs to get money from me but i make light of it, I don't want her to feel any more guilty than she already does. Besides I have to watch her for impeedning depression. she had a bout of it when she was in BC. The idiot docs put her on Effexor. One of the worst drugs to be on, very addicting and extremely hard to get off of. she did get off of it and she feels much better but i keep a sharp eye on her.

Well, I think i've talked myself out. time for some hottub time. Be well, Debbie