Blue is my color today.'Im having one of those days when I don't feel okay and I don't feel sad just in between. didn't have a great sleep last night for that fact for many nights now. Up and down all night then up for good by 4:30. wake up tired and by midday I'm running on empty and there's still 1/2 of the day to go.
Yesterday was Women's Group, if it wasn't for my girlfriend I probably would have stayed at home but we made a promise to each other to prod the other to the meetings. Actually, it was one of the better meetings. I voiced my feelings that compared to almost everyone else there my problems were miniscule and I felt like I was taking up valuable space that could have gone to another woman. they all supported me and said that my problems were as real as their's and I needed guidance and support every bit as much as they did. Their support made me feel so... much better. I also admitted ffor the first time to ANYONE that I have issues with my self image. I need others for affirmation that i did this well or that well or how organized I am or how good my hair, nails etc looks.. This is hard for me to talk about, I really only just realized it myself a little while ago. I need to do some serious self esteem building on my own so I am not depend on others to make me feel important and good about myself inside or out. I think this is going to be difficult!!! I think when I get back to my counsellor I'd like to explore this area further.
This afternoon my girlfriend and I are going out to look for paint swatches for her house.. It should be a fun aftenoon. Right now I feel pretty good and the sun just popped out and it's so wonderful to see after about 7 days of rain and snow. I hope my mood stays stable so I can really enjoy our day out. tonight is coffee night with the gals so with good luck I'll be able to make that too. Maybe I'm hoping for too much. We'll see.
I also did some rug hooking yesterday and got the ground finished on my project. i think I like it I need to get the barn and some of the sky done before I really know. anyway, I'll close for now and wish you all well, Debbie
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My whole life I spent worrying about my looks and what everyone else thought. One day I realized that the body is only a container for the heart and soul and since I have a good heart and try to live a christian life, as in being good to others and trying to help others and obeying the 10 commandments ( the swearing one is hard). O.K. lost the sentence, anyway the body as I said is just the container that holds the beautiful person you are Debbie and be proud of that because there are some not so nice people out there with awesome containers...which would you rather be. Another one of my thoughts that has dawned on me is, what difference is it going to make when we die if our hair was to long for our age or if we had gray roots in church once, or not the prettiest nails,or a rip in our seat, it really will all be about the person you were, a beautiful one, that is what I see. Love Naomi
Hey Debbie
Sounds like you made a huge break through at your Women\'s Group. Awareness is the first step on teh road to healing. I am so happy for you. Not that you have sefl-esteem issues, but that you have now come to recognise them and are wanting to do the work of self-love needed to change.
I am in that place too and I am definately a work in progress.
Take care my friend
Enjoy your day
Jules xo
I love what Naomi said Debbie. She is so right. Our bodies are also the Temple of the Holy Spirit. So as long as you are taking care of it, that is what is important. I do know what you mean. I think it is harder for us with bipolar disorder because we already feel bad enough about ourselves having that. You are such a beautiful person and so loving and caring. You climbed the highest hurdle just admiting it, the rest is just being aware. Take the good things and make them a part of you but throw the bad things out. I luv you and thank you for your sweet and kind comments. Hugs, Shelly