Been off line for awhile so have not read or answered any journals except those written in the last day or so, it was just too overwhelming, 128 journals!!! I appreciate all the comments and hugs.
I've not been feeling up to par by a long shot. Depressive, panicy, can't sleep, teary, all the usual bs that goes with this wonderful disorder. I have been so.... TIRED!!! More so than usual.
I did get to Women's Group this week only because I have a friend that goes too and we made a promise to each other that we would not let the other one stay home. I'm not sure how much the group is really helping me. Actually, I usually feel worse after the two hour sessions. Most of the other women there have it so... much worse than I do. they have major finincial problems, abusive relationships, no support systems etc..they have to deal with this on top of the depression!!! I am so lucky to have a loving, sable life style. I feel like I'm taking up space that could be used by another more needy person.
I also got my daughter settled into her new apartment and she really likes her job. Maybe now she will settle down. She has also been dating a guy that is very stable, god work ethics, doesn't drink much or do drugs. So far he's been a good influence on her. I hope this continues. We've had so much drama from her in the last 3 years or so. It will be a great relief to see her finally maturing. She has tended to put a lot of stress on me and ofcouse, this sends me into depression.
She and I went out yesterday and got most of my Xmas shopping done for her. I need to have her pick out her own stuff and try it on then there is no hassel of returning/disliking come Xmas day. I also always have my shopping done well in advance as I can't take the crowds. I get so... panicky I have to go home.
The hotub is working well a real stress reliever. A good investment.
It's 12:30 and I'm still in my p.j.s. I think it's going to be another day of fatigue. I'm not going to push myself just relax and hope the depression does not get worse.
My mom is coming for coffee tomorrow to see our hottub. We don't get to see each other as often as we'd like as she works weird shifts. It will be good to see her and gab for awhile.
Anyway not much else is new. I'll try really hard to keep up but if I can't please, know I am thinking about you. Be well, Debbie
Replies
Debbie, you never have to worry about keeping up with me. I understand completely through all the experiences I have had myself. Honey, you are doing the right think just ralaxing and working with your lack of energy. You are still being active and getting out a little and visiting with others. If that is all you can do then it is all you need to do. I am so glad your hot tub is a blessing for you. You deserve it. I understand what you mean about so many others being so much worse off but sometimes realizing their challenges helps us appreciate our own blessings all the more. However, if the group is bringing you down, maybe you should consider one on one therapy. I am also glad to hear about your daughter, I know how difficult it can be to want the best for them and watch them make bad choices or just not grow at the rate we think they should be. You are a beautiful example for her and I am sure she is learning much from your motivation and actions. Have a wonderful visit with your mom, I miss mine too and dont see her as much as I would like. Thank you for your sweet and supportive comments on my journal. I cherish your friendship and always hold you in my heart and lift you in prayer. Hugs, Shelly
So good to hear from you, I miss you when your not around every day. You are a very strong person to suffer as you do and yet you keep going day after day. You amaze me!!!
It\'s great to hear the good news about your daughter, happy and content and close to you.
I hope you enjoy your visit with your Mom. Take care, hugs Cathy
Sorry you are feeling bad. I do the jammie day thing to sometimes...so what..no one will tell. Glad for your daughter, it is important that our children are happy. 128 journals...you have to many friends....just kiding...you are loved for sure. Naomi
You know that God leads us to where we should be, so you are at the women\'s group for a reason, maybe to give hope to someone else, to let them know that there are loving caring husbands/men out there.
I\'m glad most of your shopping is done. I can\'t do big crowds and shopping either which is hard on Bill cause I think he likes it. He\'s a real people person. I like to go and shop and get what I need and get out as soon as possible or faster. Glad to hear about \"Danielle\" - is that her name or did I make it up? - it\'s so good to see them getting on track. Blessings. love and hugs. mary
Hey Girl, I\'m having trouble keeping up too. I\'m glad your daughter seems to be settling down. `Mine are doing better too. It sure takes them forever to really grow up. It is so much harder these days. I hope your visit with your mom helps cheer you up. I know how much you hate this struggle. Hugs and more hugs, Donna
We are here for you as you are for us. You do not have to worrie about reading mine. I know in my heart you will when you can. Shoot I have not been getting on lately either. I am glad to hear that you are doing what you can to help you. You are very important my friend....do what you can, when you can....
thinking of you of course...(((HUGS)))
take care of you..